Size Up Women and Spending

2 CommentsFriday • November 26, 2010 • by Imei

Congratulations! If you are a man, you are about to read something that can help you understand your wife, female friends or co-workers, or the developing spending habits of daughter and her friends. If you’re a woman, you’re about to read something that is both humorous and potentially tragic about the way many women size up their spending habits.

In the last six months, I’ve had the chance to visit the homes of a number of single guys and observe the way they live. I have a working theory to share with you:

The longer a man is single, and the more money he earns, the larger his television and the smaller his car.

If you know of a man between the ages of 37 and 50 who lives alone, measure the diameter of his last television screen purchased, and see if it isn’t any smaller than 36 inches. If it is, ask him if he watches television at his guy friend’s home, or at the local sports bar.

Now that you’ve had a few laughs, fill in the same equation, only for a woman:

The longer a woman is single, and the more money she earns, the larger her __________________ and the smaller her ____________________.

What would you say should go in the two blank spaces above? Here are a few thoughts that come to mind:

The larger her
shoe collection
designer bag collection
clothes closet
backside
breast implants
dog
wine collection

The smaller her
time
television
turkey at Thanksgiving
beer collection

Lately, my artistic soul has been paying attention to the transition from being with someone to living alone. So what spending trends do women turn to as a single? When I think about the mountains of clothes, shoes, bags, and things they collect, as well as an appetite for life that often grows out of control, I see how I am NOT one of those women. I wear a pair of shoes out before I buy another pair. I have three pairs of jeans, and as of today, I realize they ALL have holes in them somewhere [note to self: I will buy a new pair of jeans before Christmas]. I’m just not that kind of shopping girl. I wonder if I’m fated to do what men do: instead of clothes and shoes, it’s purchasing tech toys and electronics.

Black Friday and Cyber Monday used to be events that I paid some attention to but didn’t really participate in actively. When you are with someone, strangely you can become content with very little, as you have each other. When you are single, you simply have yourself to contend with. The self that I deal with loves to be connected to the outer world to transform my inner world. Thus, my new life must have the tools to do the connecting. I am long overdue for some upgrades.

The reality for women, however, is that we’re not expected to be all that savvy about electronics and technology, or how these shape our lives. Just watch an episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker, and you’ll see the prospective dates being coached on hair blowouts, what clothes and shoes to wear, and how to make themselves physically or socially more attractive to the millionaire. There is zero talk about technology or financial responsibility, other than the millionaire has those, and the date does not.

After reading The Daily Worth, a blog about teaching women how to be financially savvy and responsible, I’ve noticed a pattern. Many of the women telling their stories about spending habits talk about how they got into debt as they spend for things they don’t need, and they fail to pay off their debt as time goes along. Similarly, they fail to invest their money for things that will truly change the way they live, and they fall prey to spending on short-lived pleasures that have no real investment value in the quality of their life. Finally, some spent with the belief that their man was better with money, only to find out he was part of the problem. As one bumper sticker poignantly stated, “A man is not a financial plan. www.wife.org“.

Just recently, an online reseller of high-end dance costumes contacted me about a costume she has been unable to sell. While the costume is gorgeous and worth every penny, women aren’t buying right now. I wrote an email to the seller to tell her of my interest in the costume, and my desire to sell a costume of mine in order to purchase hers, even though I could purchase her costume outright. She said, “You are the last person on earth who has any kind of financial self control! i am so inspired by you!!!”

While the costume could bring me great joy while I dance in it (and I gotta tell you, it is hotter than hot!), I can also put that money towards a piece of technology, online education, a tech conference that connects me with others, a large screen television for playing back dance video and teaching myself and students new choreography, or equipment that can help me host more people in my new gallery/studio/home. While I’d love to be in that costume right now, I’ve decided I have to wait until I sell one of my other costumes to make room, because compared to these other spends, a costume doesn’t size up the same way these other spends do in terms of giving back to me.

This Black Friday, I will likely be shopping. While it’s not the exciting shopping of shoes, bags, or clothes that women typically enjoy, I believe you’ll see a big smile on my face as I clothe my life with the things that help me reach out to you with who I am as an artist and a lover of life. Instead of Neiman Marcus, it’ll be Best Buy. Instead of wearing a Bella, I’ll be pushing a Dyson in order to keep a clean and pet-fur free home. I may not be strutting around in Jimmy Choo’s, but I will be bringing you all my best with the kind of professionalism the local community has inspired me to provide.

Ready? Set? Shop!